if a drugstore is like a chocolate factory, just call me charlie (roll with me here...). every summer i try a new self-tanning product in the vain hope that maybe, just maybe, i'll find that golden ticket product. sadly, i'm often disappointed.
take, for example, the recent moisturizer/tanner trend. it still smells bad, streaks and it's not all that moisturizing. but what about all those mischa barton ads that appeared everywhere telling me it was, like, the best thing ever?! you know, before her stint in the psych ward for exhaustion or mercury poisoning or whatever the kids are calling it these days. why would i take her tanning moisturizer advice in the first place? it's not like she doesn't get a spray tan an hour before her shoot. for that matter, why would i buy something just because a celebrity endorses it at all? because until they make a tanning moisturizer so miraculous that it turns my face into mischa barton's, i'm going to keep my $16.99. but i digress...
maybe not everyone shares my high sunless tanner expectations, but let's keep in mind that i'm fair, so everything shows up. and when i say fair i mean, salesgirl: "hmm, i think this shade of foundation is too dark" me: "no worries, let's go lighter" salesgirl: "that's the lightest shade". i wonder if sweden exports cosmetics? are there special cosmetics for really really white people, like there are for asians, east indians, etc? or is that just every other brand? but i digress...
the product i've had the most luck with in the past is clarins, but it's better suited to someone with a medium skin tone. i recently found a great product that i've been testing all summer. so now that the leaves are falling and your tan is fading, this product is gonna have you looking golden faster than you can say skin cancer.
the i-bronze self-tanning cloths by marcelle come in three types: fair to medium, medium to dark and sun-kissed glow moisturizing cloths (see? we still can't get away from the moisturizing trend). bonus: they're hypo-allergenic and perfume free.
the cloths cost around $1/cloth. similar products are made by l'oreal and tantowel for about $2/cloth, as well as kate somerville at sephora for $6/cloth.
trick or tip!
i usually apply before bed. think about applying self tanner like applying nail polish; never go to sleep immediately after application, or it'll crease. wait at least 15 minutes. and don't forget to wash your hands, because that would be so 1998. and in my experience, there's no such thing as too much blending. what? are people going to snicker behind your back because your tan is too even?
bonus trivia
while i haven't received a press release on the look-like-mischa miracle face lotion quite yet, i have spotted lindsay lohan's tanning mist on sephora. so now you can have a "lotan" just like lindsay. i think that's my cue to stop. now why am i craving chocolate when i'm talking about self-tanner?
